so that wasnt chicken after all
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
