people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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