remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
