pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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