when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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