Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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