I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize