So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
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Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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