she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm going to jail i love you
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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