Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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