hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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