You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ðŸ˜ðŸ’€#pensacolaproblems
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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