She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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