I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
