we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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