weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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