Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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