I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
its not stalking. its research.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
