You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
