he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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