I am puke
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
