I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Sponge bath it is.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
