Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
