I hate all girls vehemently.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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