I puked a lego.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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