So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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