sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
