I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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