Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
