Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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