you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
