I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
