I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
