Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
