my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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