what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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