I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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