I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
