shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
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Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
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Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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