i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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