i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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