Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
