i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
