on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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