Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize