Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
