Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
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