she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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