I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
