I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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