No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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