He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The ass gains better be worth it
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