It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
