I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
