i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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