So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
