I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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