That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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